I Finally Found My Way
by Athena Alexandria
Summary: Sequel to I Was Made For Loving You and Calling Doctor Love. Set after the flashforwards in There's No Place Like Home, Part 1. Slightly AU. Jack finally gets the hint, but has Kate already moved on?
1. Chapter 1

Thanks for the reviews. :)

Now on to the next installment of what I'm affectionately referring to as "the KISS series". It ended up being longer than I thought it would so I'm making it a two shot. I know I said it would be called "I Wanna Rock'N'Roll All Nite" but I changed my mind when I found a better song... ;)

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I FINALLY FOUND MY WAY

Part 1.

Three days had passed since his father's wake and _that_ kiss and Jack hadn't been able to get Kate out of his mind.

Every time he that thought he was winning the battle he was hit with the memory of something else she'd said:

"_And these girls, they just let a guy like you go?"_

"_So I guess I must be pretty special then, huh, for you to allow me into your inner sanctum like this?"_

"_Let me get this straight – you think having sex with me would be 'crazy'? Cause it didn't seem like you minded earlier when I kissed you… In fact, I bet you wouldn't mind if I did it again..."_

And she almost had. She would have if they hadn't been interrupted. Was it just his imagination or had she wanted it as much as he did?

There was a moment in his room – he could still see her smile as she pulled back, her lip gloss smeared, her cheeks flushed, her green eyes sparkling – and again downstairs, when she'd teased him about it, where he was almost certain that she shared his feelings.

That she loved him or at least that she thought that she could.

Why else would she care about girls that he'd dated more than twenty years ago?

Why else would it bother her so much that he might not want to sleep with her?

Why else would she flirt with him like that?

There was only one way to find out. Determined to get to the bottom of her confusing behaviour, he sat down at his desk and thumbed through the menu of his cell until her number came up.

"Hello?"

She answered it almost as soon as it started to ring – out of breath as though she'd raced to pick it up – and for a moment he wondered if she'd been expecting his call, but he shook the thought off when he realised that she probably hadn't even bothered to check the caller ID. Her greeting was so vague that it could have been meant for anyone.

"Kate, hey," he said, trying to not to sound too eager in case he'd misread her intentions. The last thing he wanted was to come on too strong and make things awkward between them.

"Hey," she returned, and he thought that she sounded pleased but her friendly tone made it difficult to tell.

"Is there something you need, Jack?" she prompted him when he struggled to think of an opener, something that wouldn't make the real reason for his call too obvious. He could hear the smirk in her voice as she waited for him to get to the point.

"I uh… I just found your number and I thought I'd see what you've been up to since the funeral," he began, cringing at how callous this seemed when he said it aloud. He was going for cool and casual but he wasn't sure that that was how it had come across.

As far as excuses went, it didn't even make sense. If her number was programmed into his cell then obviously he knew where it was.

"So what you're saying is, you're not really _interested_ in what I've been doing, you just thought you'd ask, since you 'found my number'…?" she insisted and as he pictured her amused expression, he almost wished that he'd just come out and told her what he was really thinking. That couldn't possibly be more embarrassing.

"What? No. Of course I'm _interested_, Kate…" he tried to defend himself, but she cut him off before he could figure out how else to explain his apparent indifference.

"Okay then," she agreed, letting him off the hook, and he settled back in his chair for what he hoped would be a long and fruitful conversation. "Since you asked, this morning I got up, took a shower, fed the baby... went to the grocery store where this gorgeous guy started playing with him while we were in line…"

He was prepared to listen to the mundane minutiae of her life in the real world, curious about how she spent her time, but this last part threw him for a loop. While he wasn't confident enough to believe that he'd secured the number one spot in her heart now that Sawyer was out of the picture, it had never occurred to him that she might take an interest in anyone else.

"His name is Lance," she gushed and the image of a bronze Adonis at least ten years his junior sprang into his mind. Someone closer to her type or what he envisioned her type to be.

"You have to meet him, Jack," she told him and just for a second he wished that he could. Who was this guy? Did he even know the first thing about her or was he just after her compensation money? Surely he must have recognised her. They'd been all over the news for weeks.

"He's smart, funny, good with kids. He's supposed to call me to set up a date. I actually thought you were him just now."

He felt like she'd sucker punched him in the stomach when it hit him that that was why she was so quick to answer her phone. It wasn't him that she'd wanted to talk to, it was _Lance_.

"That… I'm happy for you, Kate," he managed to agree, to mask how heartsick he was at the realisation that he'd had his chance with her and he'd let her slip through his fingers.

_Again_.

It had taken him almost five _months_ to work up the courage to sweep her off her feet and this _Lance_ guy came in and did it in five _minutes_? "You deserve to be with someone like that."

She was silent for a moment and he worried that, despite his best efforts, she knew how insincere he was.

"You know, I really think this could be it," she confessed, and he wondered why she was telling him this when they'd never had that kind of friendship before. Couldn't she see how hard it was for him to hear? How painful it was for him to think of her with another guy, one he wasn't sure that he could compete with? "Aaron seems to like him and I think it'll be good for him to have a father figure in his life."

He almost choked at these words. How could she be thinking about that already? Especially after that thing with the pillows? Hadn't that proved that he could take care of Aaron? That he could be a good father to him if she let him?

"I thought you just met this guy? _Lance_?" he reminded her, struggling to keep the venom out of his tone. He wasn't fooling anyone. He wasn't happy. He wanted to put his first through the nearest wall. Or better yet, someone's face. _Lance's._

"I did," she agreed. "But you know how sometimes you can just tell? You meet someone and there's this… connection. You're not really sure how or why, it's just easy. Everything works."

She could have been describing his feelings for her. "Don't you think you're rushing into things, Kate?" he insisted, desperate at the thought that she might share that with someone – _anyone _– other than him. "Maybe you should wait until you've been out with him a couple of times…"

It took him a moment to register the sound coming from her end and then he trailed off. "Wait, are you _laughing_?" He wasn't aware that he'd said anything that could be considered funny.

"You don't seriously think I'm planning on marrying a guy I met in line at the grocery store, do you, Jack?" she teased him, hiccoughing as she tried to get it under control.

"No, of course not, I just—" he started to argue, a furious blush creeping into his cheeks when he realised how close the idea had come to sending him into a nervous breakdown.

"Then why did you say you were happy for me when we both know you didn't mean it?" she asked, and he noticed that her voice had changed. She wasn't joking anymore.

"Why don't you _want me_ to be happy for you, Kate?" he pressed, sitting up straighter, determined not to let her turn it back on him this time. It was always about his feelings and never about hers.

She didn't speak for a long time, and he was afraid that she'd hung up until she said, "You really don't know?"

"Don't know what?" He was getting tired of having her mess with his head. Why couldn't she just agree that this wasn't a game to her?

"The only guy I talked to at the grocery store was a balding, middle-aged man who told me Aaron reminded him of his grandson," she confessed with a sigh. "I made it all up, Jack,"

This wasn't at all what he was expecting; it was a few seconds before he managed to find his voice. "Why?"

"To see your reaction," she told him. "I've gotta admit, I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd take it so well."

Her tone took on a teasing note as she added, "I was sure you'd be jealous."

Now that she'd as good as admitted that the attraction was mutual, he knew that he should get her back, but all he could think was that if Lance wasn't real, then he _hadn't_ missed his chance.

He wasn't going to make that mistake a third time. "So you don't have a date tonight?"

"I don't have any plans," she agreed.

"Then you won't mind if _I _ask you out," he insisted.

She didn't answer right away, and when she did, he could hear the smile in her voice. "Took you long enough."

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In Part 2: The date and more KISS-related humour... ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews. I think this chapter breaks some kind of record for the most KISS references ever in a fan fic that isn't actually about KISS! I cut a bunch out and I still count at least 7 different songs including the one it was named for which is would be my favourite if I were a fan. It's actually kind of sweet. ;)

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Part 2.

The first thing Jack noticed when he opened his door was how amazing Kate looked in the pair of black jeans and green silk top that she was wearing, her dark make in sharp contrast to the lightness of her eyes, her long hair falling in soft waves over shoulders.

He had suggested that they go out for dinner but she insisted on meeting him at his place.

"Hi," he greeted her, unsure what to do with her now that he had her there. He'd always been better at relationships than dating. At least then he knew where he stood.

"Hi," she returned with a tentative grin, catching him off guard when she pushed herself up onto her toes to kiss him.

He was surprised at how familiar the action was, her closed mouth brushing his lightly, carefully but not in a way that he would have considered friendly or chaste.

It was starting to feel like a date. In the back of his mind he was still having trouble believing that it was finally happening. "You look nice," he told her as he let her in, awkward but meaning every word.

He could see how pleased she was when her smile grew and she glanced down at the carpet, a pink tinge creeping into her cheeks.

"Thanks," she replied with a bashful laugh, tucking her hair behind her ears. Her expression turned serious as she glanced back up at him. "I brought you something."

He waited, curious, as she reached into her purse, sliding out a DVD.

"_KISSology_?" he read as he took it from her, trying not to laugh when she did. "Very funny. Is there some reason you enjoy humiliating me, Kate?"

"Because it's fun," she teased him, holding his gaze as she added, "And because you're cute when you're embarrassed."

He still wasn't sure how to respond to such obvious flirting without knowing what she expected, so he decided to change the subject to something less loaded.

"D'you have any trouble getting a sitter for Aaron?"

"No, not at all," she assured him, her green eyes sparkling with mischief.

Her tone made him wary. "What aren't you telling me, Kate?" he pressed. "Where is he?"

He watched the corners of her lips quirk with amusement as she tried not to laugh. "At your mom's."

His heart sunk when he realised that this wasn't a joke, and he shot her an incredulous look. "Tell me you didn't…?"

"What?" she insisted, feigning innocence, as though she couldn't understand why this would be a problem for him. "She told me I could bring him around any time. And when I explained that we had a date she offered to take him off our hands."

She smirked. "Said I could pick him up in the morning."

He stared at her, horrified, when the implication of her words hit him. "You realise she's never gonna believe that we_ aren't _having sex now?" he complained, bringing his fingers up to massage the bridge of his nose

"Like she does now?" she reminded him, meeting his eyes with the same challenging look as at the wake and he was no longer sure why he thought that this was such a bad thing.

He was trying not to expect too much, given that they still hadn't agreed on where their relationship was headed, but he knew that he would be lying if he told her he didn't have hopes of ending the night that way.

"I… uh… was just gonna order take out," he told her, turning away from her and starting towards the kitchenette to hide his confusion. "Chinese okay with you?"

"Chinese is fine," she agreed, putting her purse down on the bench and climbing up onto one of the stools and he wondered if he'd hurt her feelings. He got the sense that she was disappointed that he wouldn't engage.

He let her make the final selection before phoning it in, fetching a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and leading her back into the living room to wait.

She moved to unpack the bag when the food arrived, arranging the cartons on the coffee table in front them, and he got up to retrieve the DVD from the kitchen, determined to have the last laugh this time.

"You're not really gonna watch that?" she insisted when he popped the draw of the DVD player and put it inside, pausing in what she was doing to give him an uncertain look.

"Why not?" he asked, fighting the urge to laugh at how worried she sounded, less amused now that the joke was on her. "You bought it for me. I think it'd be rude not to."

He flashed her a sly grin. "Unless there's some reason you don't want me to, Kate?"

She raised her hands with a nonchalant shrug. "No. Go ahead," she told him and he hit the play button, refusing to have mercy on her until she agreed to let it go.

She tried to act as though this didn't phase her but as he returned to her seat, he caught her wrinkling her nose in disgust out of the corner of his eye and he turned it up louder in response.

"'I'm gonna bang, bang you, I'll shoot you down with my love gun', Jack?" she repeated with a dubious arch of her eyebrow, reaching over to stick her chopsticks into his carton. She pulled out a mass of noodles, laughing as she tried to catch them in her mouth. "How did they even come up with this stuff? It's awful."

"Are you kidding? KISS rocked," he teased her, helping himself to a piece of chicken from hers, enjoying her discomfort.

He let it play in the background without paying much attention to it until she grabbed his arm.

_The party's just begun, we'll let you in_

_You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy_

_You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'…_

"Now _this_ is cool," she said, setting her empty carton aside and stretching her legs, and he couldn't tell if she was being serious or just making fun of him again when, to his surprise, she chimed in on the chorus, leaping up from the couch and head banging like she was at a concert.

"_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while_

_You're lookin' fancy and I like your style_

_You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy…"_

She gave up on trying to sing the verse after stumbling over most of the words, seizing the opportunity to tease him instead.

"You can't tell me this one doesn't make you wanna get up and dance," she insisted, pushing her hair back from her face and he wondered if she had any idea how adorable she was. "I bet you did it all the time when no one was looking, jumping around your room, pretending you were Gene Simmons..."

_You show us everything you've got_

_Baby, baby that's quite a lot _

_And you drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy_

_You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'…_

He had on occasion but he wasn't going to tell _her_ that.

"Come on, Jack. Show me your air guitar."

He could see that she wasn't going to give in until he'd made a fool of himself too.

With a theatrical sigh he let her drag him to his feet, grateful for the excuse just to touch her, joining in with her on the next chorus:

"_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day_

_I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day…"_

He kept singing until the music faded out and his voice was hoarse, encouraged by her delighted laughter.

"I can't believe you talked me into that," he told her with a laugh, flopping back onto the couch to catch his breath, his heart pounding as though he'd just run a marathon. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd danced like that. Not since college, he decided, and even then he would have needed to be really drunk. She had that effect on him, making him do things that he wouldn't normally do. "I understand if you wanna go call Hurley now so you mock me."

"No, I'm impressed," she admitted, dropping onto the cushion beside him, one leg tucked beneath her as she turned to face him. Her cheeks were flushed and she was grinning and no matter how hard her tried he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her. "Who would've guessed that underneath that straight-laced spinal surgeon was a rockstar waiting to come out?"

_Do you love me (do you love me)_

_I mean like do you_

_Really love me (really love me)_

_I want you to (do you love me, do you love me)_

_I need you to (do you love me, do you love me)_

_And you know I'm tired of everybody sayin' it_

_And you know (do you love me, do you love me)_

_I just gotta know if you really, really, really, really love me…_

That was what he wanted to know more than anything, but he was afraid that if he put her on the spot, it would ruin what had otherwise been a perfect evening.

More than that he was afraid of what he might hear.

So instead he just held her gaze, trying to read something in her expression, her eyes, some hint or clue that would tell him how she really felt about him.

"What're you thinking, Jack?" she asked, sensing the change in his mood when moments passed without either one of them speaking, but before he could answer that song ended a new one started up in its place:

_So take me any way you want me_

_Just break me any way you can_

_Take me any way you want me, now_

_Make me feel like a man_

_Make me feel it, baby…_

She sucked in an audible breath. "You can tell me…"

A furious blush crept into his cheeks as he found his mind returning to its earlier track and he shifted his attention back to the screen to avoid her eyes, all too aware of her trying to catch his.

_Many the miles have come between us_

_And the days, they come and go_

_Still with all we feel_

_It never really shows…_

She was waiting for him to make a move.

He sat up straighter, steeling his resolve to have serious conversation with her this time.

"Why did you come here tonight, Kate?" he asked her, refusing to look away this time, even when he saw how uncomfortable this question made her. "You kiss me, you joke about us having sex… You invite yourself over to my place. Why?"

Now that he'd spelt it out like that he was almost certain that he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from her just this once.

"Why do you think?" she insisted after a moment, her voice devoid of any sign that she was still teasing him, looking surprised as though she thought that this should be obvious. "I like you, Jack. I always have. In fact…" She swallowed, licking her bottom lip and he could see the fear in her eyes as she murmured, "…I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

He knew that it wasn't an easy thing for her to admit, which is why it was enough for him for the time being. He nodded. "I love you too."

She closed the gap between them, kissing him slowly, gently at first, the passion behind her movements building, and he knew that she was telling the truth.

She did love him, even if she couldn't say it yet.

_Each time I saw her I couldn't wait to see her again_

_I wanted to let her know that she was more than a friend_

_I didn't know just what to do, so I whispered I love you_

_She said that she loved me too and then she kissed me_

_She kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before_

_She kissed me in a way that I want to be kissed forever more…_

She settled into him when they finally broke from each other, slipping one arm around him and resting her head against his shoulder with a contented sigh.

Without stopping to analyse what he was doing he wrapped both of his around her, his fingers combing her hair.

When a slow, synthetic beat started up, he smiled, catching her eye as be began to sing along so softly that if her face wasn't inches from his he wasn't sure she would be able to hear him:

"_Now the day is ending and the night begins to fall_

_Sometimes I wondered if I'd make it back at all_

_I gave up everything I had and ever knew_

_But I finally found my way_

_I finally found my way_

"I finally found my way to you…"

A slow grin spread over her face as she sat up, gesturing towards the doors that lead to other areas of the apartment.

"Which one's yours?" she asked, giving him a meaningful look and in that moment he decided that it definitely didn't _feel_ crazy. It felt right.

"Come on, I'll show you," he told her, dropping short, distracted kisses against her lips while he fumbled for the remote and switched off the DVD.

She deepened the last one, her arms winding around his neck as he lifted her up off the couch, still kissing him on the way to the bedroom.

_And now I'll hold you like I never have before_

_I'll let you go just long enough to lock that door_

_The words I whisper come so late and over due_

_But I finally found my way_

_I finally found my way_

_I finally found my way to you…_

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So that's the end for now. Thanks for reading and reviewing. ;)


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